What Would You Do If Someone Called You A ‘Bad Mom’ in Public

I was surprised to hear that this story was true. My friend and Dare to Lose teammate Sarah posted this on her blog today, and as I read it, I was really taken aback.

We stopped at a convenience store on our way home from soccer practice to get a quick (albeit unhealthy) snack. In the midst of a conversation between my two children and me, there was suddenly a fourth person. When she came up, we weren't yelling. I wasn't beating them. My children and I weren't even having a disagreement. There were lots of other customers and no one else even seemed to notice us.

This woman walked over, looked me in the eye, and said, “that’s a really bad idea.” Since I was comfortable with my decision, I tried to ignore her.

Unfortunately, she wouldn't be ignored. “You’re a bad mom,” she said.

She was incredibly earnest in her judgment and conviction. “I know you think I should mind my own business, but when children are involved, I have to speak out.”

First, I have to say I am not completely innocent of such behavior. I once stopped a person who had one of those metal collars on their dogs, the kind that dig into their neck with spikes. I used to do a lot of work with the local Humane Society and they had educated me on the use of gentle leaders, which are preferable (according to some) to the spike torture collar. So, I approached the person and suggested they try it, rather than go the 'listen to me or I will cause you pain' route. They didn't want to hear it.

And, upon reflection, it was none of my business.

Since then, a wise man gave me some great advice.

Worry about your side of the street. Once your side is perfect, absolutely perfect, then you can start telling others what they should be doing.

Another piece of advice that comes in handy around this time is from Don Miguel Ruiz and the book The Four Agreements.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

So, what would you do if the same thing happened to you?