Now that I have picked myself up off the floor from laughter at the mere thought of this, I am ready to tackle the topic-semi seriously!

I have to laugh at the prospect of committing because when you don’t have it you want it and when you get it you think wow, what was all the fuss?

Don’t get me wrong, after you peel away all my layers you will still find a girl living the Cinderella dream. When I first met my now husband I was not hiding anything, I said straight up I wanted to be married, he then said why? He had come from a 20 year marriage and didn’t really see the need anymore for the paper commitment. I had been married before as well, but loved the whole married thing. The monogrammed towels,  the wedding rings and a reliable routine. But his simple question of why did cause me to think, for a minute and then the minute was gone and I still wanted the whole fairy tale. Of course he too in the end wanted the same from and with me and we have been blissfully committed, on paper, for three years.

So how does it all come together? How DO you get him to say yes? Some of the answers to this age old question that I will tackle are tongue in cheek, if you read that making sure he has clean underwear everyday, I am likely kidding, unless he is from Arkansas. (Just kidding, if you are from Arkansas, that was just a joke-no hate mail please)

I have lived many of years and have dated my share of men and monsters, I read articles online and get some of the popular women magazines… this is my doctorate in making him commit.

  • Only wear his favorite sports team(s) colors. Every day and every night. An added bonus would be to turn your bedroom pillows into footballs, basketballs or even golf balls. Yes, I am being silly, but there is some truth in sports. If your guy loves sports, you are going to have to support that, at least a little. A woman that complains about a guys time being a guy will only be considered a nag. Nag does not = commitment.
  • Be sure to stay away from ultimatums, they rarely work and the  follow through is too hard on the heart. Be realistic. Know his boundaries and yours, but always be honest. Let him know that it is your desire, that you have your limits, but being with him is more important than anything. You will be amazed at how quickly he decides to commit when the pressure is gone.
  • Make meatloaf every Monday, just like mom did. Same recipe, same day of the week. Every man, admittedly or not is a mamma’s boy and if you play into that, without drawing attention to it, you are sure to snag him right up. ;)
  • Don’t underestimate his commitment. He may have not put a ring on your finger and he may have not initiated the talk, but he may already mentally be there. Have you had any kind of talk about commitment? Have you ever told him that you want to take it to the next level? Believe me some men really have an issue with being denied or shot down and if they are already committed in their head, they won’t feel the need to have the talk.
  • Be yourself around him. Don’t make him wonder who you are when he isn’t around. Don’t be afraid to sit in your sweats (not everyday), leave the house without make-up and snort when you laugh. Nothing says commitment  more than comfort. When you feel free enough to be yourself, he will be free enough to stay right where he is.
  • Make pancakes for Sunday breakfast, invite his mom to lunch and where purple under garments. Okay, obviously I am kidding… unless he likes purple?!
  • If it feels wrong and you are just afraid of being alone, you don’t need commitment to feel right, you need to get out. Commitment is never a way to feel better about something that is already wrong. Getting married won’t change him or the relationship, no matter your age its time to move on. Love will always find you if you leave the door open. Just remember that if this isn’t right, nothing, especially commitment won’t make it so… move on and trust that you will find your forever.
  • Don’t be jealous and don’t fabricate jealousy. Making him jealous won’t make him commit, love has no time for games. Be up front and say what’s on your mind. If you question a female relationship or encounter, ask him if you can’t get over it, but allow his answer to be the answer… no pushing the issue, no asking again and again… and if you still can’t accept it, then move on. You aren’t ready for this relationship or he is lying, either way, commitment isn’t going to save this union. (trust me, when you find the right fit, you won’t feel that you don’t matter and your jealousy will go away)
  • This is a hard one… Trust him. Men are a lot deeper than you may think. Beyond the basketball, the beer and the scratching there is a man who loves you inside. Men are less emotional than women. Not always what you want to hear, but true. They can look at the relationship on different levels than you and I can. This is a good thing. For the most part a man has a sensibility about him that is key to a strong successful commitment. And yes, it goes beyond “does my mom like her” and “can she cook “. Once a guy looks at the whole picture and is sure that he is solid, the relationship then becomes solid. Obviously, as with many things, there are exceptions to the rule, but for the most part he too is in it to win it and its just a matter of time before he let’s you in on his secret of forever.
  • Lastly, Greet him every night with a kiss. Life is real and he knows that, but if you have had a bad day, start with a kiss. If he has had a bad, start with a kiss. Connect first and always, life will be there after the kiss. But without connecting first almost all is lost for the night, always. When you learn to kiss first, to connect, commitment is sure to follow.

Hopefully this helps… please let us know what you think, if you have tried any of these tactics and how you got him to commit in the comment section below.