It turns out that parenthood is more depressing than just about anything--even divorce or the death of a partner.

A new study has come out of Germany that shows that new parents feel more unhappiness and dissatisfaction surrounding having kids than they do with things like divorce or being unemployed.

I have many reactions to this, especially because I am myself a brand new parent. As of today, my first child is about three months old.

So, has this event caused me great dissatisfaction and unhappiness? Well, at moments, yes, it has. Concerning the long term, I could see how it might.

Especially in the first weeks, the amount of work that it takes, the sheer volume of screaming, the stress and toll that it took on my wife, the financials, all of it is the MOST stressful thing I've ever been through. There is no doubt about it.

However, as I moved along in the process, I came to understand that there was a 'new normal' in town. If I were to compare it to my life before I had a son, if that were my baseline for happiness, if the things that made me happy then were what I still needed to be happy now, I'd be very unhappy and dissatisfied.

With my huge life change though, the thing that I've been working the hardest on was not in keeping my life the way it was before, but in accepting what life needs to be like now.

I have to do more with less time. That will require growth. I have to stay in the moment and understand that while I may have plans for a day, the whims of my son will control that more than I will. That will require growth. I have to make more money. That will require growth.

So, maybe the problem is in the comparison. If a new parent compares the apple of their former, non-child life to their current orange of a life with a child, the results are bound to be unsatisfying.

I've had friends tell me that I have to continue my life just as it was before. That nothing stopped them from going out to eat, going camping, going to Vegas, or whatever because they weren't going to let this child take over their lives.

I'm taking a different tack. I'm expecting everything to be turned upside down. I'm anticipating that, these first few years especially, are going to be like nothing I have ever experienced before, or will ever experience again. Especially in the last few weeks, because honestly, the first three months of parenthood barely count, just do what you can to get through them, but especially lately I've been preparing to face the complete unknown.

Perhaps it was expectations that influenced the general dissatisfaction of the parents in the study. I know one thing for sure, if you think parenting is going to resemble life without kids in any way shape or form, you are in for a great disappointment and dissatisfaction of epic proportions.

However, if you can accept that the true happiness of being a parent comes from growth, actualization, and much bigger things than being able to have your life be like it was before kids, that satisfaction level should reach heights that you have never before seen.

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