I have cut down to one cup of coffee per day. I'll keep the amount that I do the other thing to myself, but needless to say, the idea of cutting one out altogether just doesn't sound good to me at all.

A new study has found that the majority of people (53% to be exact) would rather wake up to coffee than sex. A total of 51% say they could last longer going without sex than without coffee. Clearly, these people are not aware of the wonders of breakfast in bed.

Considering how the need for nookie trails the need for java, it should be no surprise to hear that “78% would rather give up alcohol, social media or sex with their spouse for a year rather than forfeit coffee.”

What is about coffee that makes it so darned necessary? About 28% say they’re less creative if they don’t drink it, while 22% say they can’t even muster the ability to get out of bed and 16% admit they can’t talk to other people unless they down a cup. Perhaps we need to pump some Maxwell House down the throats of our leaders, then, to help them jumpstart a way to end the government shutdown.

And don’t underestimate the effects of caffeine – 81% say they need coffee during long meetings. Whether the boss or his underlings is more in need of it remains unclear.

While on the road, 73% would sacrifice television and Internet access in a hotel if it meant they could enjoy a delicious cup of coffee. Of course, the other 27% were probably too wired from all the Starbucks to give an answer.