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We've been exploring the issue of where people, especially parents and moms, put themselves in the hierarchy of importance. Many put themselves dead last. It comes from the best place. Altruism, love for their family, willingness to give all aid in the decision to consider self of no importance compared with all the people around us.

Some consequences are beginning to make themselves evident, and the contrary view is being discussed. The idea that putting ourselves last is actually damaging to us and those around us has been brought up. When I talk about it, I have to admit, I do so with fear that I'll be promoting a bad kind of selfishness, but I guess that's the chance I take.

I think the important part is that I am not suggesting, nor supporting anyone who suggests, that anyone give less love or consideration to their families, friends, or passions. What I am suggesting is that an important part of that love and consideration is the care, time and consideration that we give to ourselves.

Some of these suggestions are shared in this article I found entitled Why Moms Should Put Themselves First.

What it suggests is that moms that take care of themselves before others are better able to take care of their loved ones; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Here a some suggestions and highlights from the article.

  1. Reclaim just a little personal time each day. Ask for a small block of time from your spouse or a friend, or get a babysitter so you can recharge. You shouldn’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself. It’s actually the best gift you can give your family.
  1. Connect with a friend. Science has confirmed that women gain health benefits from friendships. Make sure you carve out some time to connect with your friends. If you don’t have time for a mom’s night out, consider an online coffee date. Oxytocin, our feel good hormone, spikes after childbirth and also during friendship.
  1. Touch therapy.  Feel-good hormones such as serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin are released from touch therapy such as massage. Consider it body maintenance!

 [ACE]