Please Stop the Gym Shaming

As a person who loves going to the gym, who can spend a whole day there, taking classes, steaming, relaxing, playing basketball, and enjoying the resort like facilities, I am a bit fed up with the 'gym-shaming' posts I have been seeing.

You know the ones. They are lists of the habits of gym members that drive others up a wall. Some are funny, and tongue in cheek, and I get it.

Still, these posts, while occasionally funny, are nothing more or less than passive aggressive lifestyle discrimination.

Like this. Or this. Or this.

Yes, a few of them are good points, like the fact that people who have terrible body odor can be off putting. But a lot of them are just plain old hating.

The reason you don't like going to the gym is because of you. Not because of the guy who is breathing heavily. Not because of people who are around you. You. You are the only reason you don't like the gym.

Oh, the people who around you aren't 100% pleasing to you 100% of the time? Welcome to planet Earth.

Talking smack, or even worse, sharing and liking posts on Facebook (passive aggressive) on others is not helping you. And, it's not helping me (a heavy breather and grunter at the gym). In fact, it is shaming us, so let me point out where some of the most common complaints from people who don't go to the gym because of other people's actions are, in fact, a form of discrimination.

Breathing Heavily

This one is the worst. You are going to try to make me feel bad for grunting, or breathing heavily during a workout? You obviously have no idea how much pain I am in, or how hard I am working. I can't do what I do at the gym without breathing audibly. During my workouts, I see stars, enter the tunnel, and often feel like I'm going to faint. And I love it. My face contorts, and I make noises.

There are whole philosophies of physical movement that teach us to use the breath as fuel (see Ujjayi from yoga asana). And yes, when the work becomes harder, the breath must be deeper, more audible, and may even turn to a grunt, groan or yelp.

The people you hear breathing, grunting, or screaming are working the hardest. Yes, they are often the most muscly people in the gym. Do you know why that is? Because they've been working very hard for years in most cases, and now, because they are in such good shape, to find the edge of their fitness, they have to really push themselves in order to continue to challenge their bodies. They are using their breath to make the motion that they are creating happen. They aren't doing it to bother you, intimidate you, or disturb you. They are doing it because the motions they are making are really difficult, and their breath or grunt is the finalization of the full body effort it requires to make it happen.

Also, have you ever noticed you never see some out of shape slob doing this? It's always the super buff person, right? Well, they are super buff because they are doing things that are very difficult, and very difficult things require massive efforts, and this includes the breath.

Extreme or Show Off-y Worker Outers

I'm not going to apologize for being able to stand on a fit ball and do curls. I'm impressed by the fact that I can, and you are too. The reason I can do it is because I started kneeling on a fit ball. Then I started moving around and playing with my balance. Then I added a medicine ball. Then I added dumbells and started lifting them over my head. Then I started standing on it. Then I added weight to that.

My skiing got better. My putting improved. I work very hard on my balance, and it requires me to do all sorts of out of the ordinary, weirdo things, like standing on the fit ball.

Take this NPR story that talks about the danger of falling at an older age.

One of the keys to preventing a fall is improving balance. As we age, Ray says, natural changes make it hard to stay upright: changes in hearing, vision and proprioception — the awareness of where one's body is in space. If seniors can learn to use these senses better, they will be less likely to fall.

Just don't work on your balance or do anything out of the ordinary in front of gym shamers. They may hate on you on Facebook.

If I don't do things that are new (and strange) I'll find myself on the plateau, and I am trying to get to the summit.

Being Hit On

Oh, poor you. You're being complimented, and have the chance to make a new friend. How tragic. Gosh, doesn't it just make you feel terrible to know that your appearance is obviously so attractive that someone wants to come and talk to you? Schedule the pity party now, because you should feel really sorry for yourself. Womp womp womp.

Okay, I will say that it could become annoying to have your workout interrupted, but really, it's a compliment. If you don't want to be complimented or meet new people, maybe video games in a basement are more your speed. When you enter the world of people, some people may want to talk to you.

Being Instructed by Know It Alls

I am not a fan of this in my own life. Nobody is. When people come up to me with unsolicited advice, I always want to revert back to my East coast ways and tell them to mind their own $@%$@# business because nobody asked them what they thought about anything. However, in the name of compassion, I refrain and just say "Thank you".

If you have to deal with this, you may have to learn something that people who blame others for their problems often have trouble dealing with--establishing boundaries.

Once again, "Oh poor me! This person is trying to teach me something. How could I ever thank them and then ask them politely to leave me to my workout! I'd rather click Like on some passive aggressive Facebook post instead."

This might be a great time for you to learn to speak for yourself and let them know that now is the time for them to mind their own beeswax.

Tight Clothing

This is plain old body shaming, and I want no part of it. Fit people in tight clothing are what you find at the gym. I like my tight shirts. I like to look at my muscles expand and contract as I workout, and I'm not ashamed of it. And you aren't going to make me ashamed of it.

If you don't want to see tight clothing, join the ranks of many religious zealots worldwide.

Equipment Hogs

I go to nice gyms, so I don't have to deal with this. But, if the treadmill isn't open, here's an idea, run across the Earth. Ride an actual bike. Rollerblade. It's harder, and will make you feel much less like a gerbil on a wheel. Or, pick another machine.

Honestly, I don't use a ton of machines, so this just hasn't been my experience.

People on their phones

Why does it bother you if someone is on their phone? You can hear them talking? Once again, welcome to planet Earth. When you leave your home, you are likely to hear people talk. Or, there are some haters who judge that it is silly that people would be typing into their phones while at the gym. Well, they might be texting. They also might be recording what they've done. There's a new invention out there, and they are called apps (short, we think, for applications). Fitness apps turn the phone into a recording device. They can also be timers, and devices that play music!