I could barely believe how bad of a competitive eater I was. When I agreed to be in the contest, I thought it would end up like most of the other new things that I try. Sometimes I stumble at the beginning, but after getting the hang of it, I generally do pretty well. Plus, I've been eating my whole life, so it's not like this is something new to me.

I had no clue what  to expect, or how to eat much more or much faster than normal, so I formulated a plan. I thought if I stuffed all I could in my mouth and lubricated it with water, I could start swallowing bites as quickly as possible and just let the chips fall where they may. So, with this in mind, I proceeded.

Well, it didn't work out for me. I looked over at the person I thought was the most likely to take the crown, Beano from 99.9 the Point, and by the time I was starting piece number two he was finishing his third. I looked at the Good Morning Guys, Brian and Todd from K99 and they were way ahead of me.

I realized I was outclassed. Despite my great love for pizza (one that is shared by you, judging from the attendance and fun we had at the event), I just couldn't hang with these guys.

So, here I am, in all humility, admitting that I don't have the stuff it takes to be good at competitive eating. I guess I'll have to find something else to do.