My Problem Could Be Me, Your Problem Could Be You
As I was driving to work today, solving some of today’s pressing issues in my head, and was reminded that any problem that I have comes from one person–me.
I take full responsibility for anything that happens to me, and since I’ve started doing that, I have enjoyed my life more.
It leaves me with much more potential than, say, thinking that I’m a victim and any problems I have are the world’s fault. True, it puts all the burdens on me, but I’d rather have that and the knowledge that I have the power to create whatever kind of life that I want, than be free of responsibility for my happiness because I blame any unwanted situation on anything else.
A mentor of mine, Marshall Thurber, has a few rules when I take one of his seminars. He insists that we communicate above what he calls ‘the line’. Above the line is where ‘personal responsibility’ exists. Below the line are where blame, shame, and justification exist. Anytime anyone places blame, feels shame, or justifies anything, they have to pay $2 into the jar. After the seminar, the money goes to charity.
Another way of saying this is ‘get out of your own way’. If I have a problem, I could be stopping myself from solving it because of a way I’ve been thinking, or have been taught to think. Whatever the reason, stopping myself from growing and enjoying my life is exactly the opposite of what I want to happen.
Can you relate? Would you be willing to give up feeling shame? Do you think you are ever in ‘your own way’?