Hey, Hillary Clinton, it's me-- not Maddi, but Madi, with one D.  You recently sent me an email that has now gone viral through the hashtag, #ImNotKiddingMaddi, where you're desperately asking me for $1 to donate to your campaign.  You weren't kidding, I guess.  

I can only assume that this whole debacle is just another instance where someone has spelled my name wrong-- the begging for money part is weird, too, but seriously-- Maddi??

Madison Scruggs

 

To be totally honest, lately I've been feeling the Bern.  You're known for being a tad wishy-washy, plus that weird Snapchat from Michigan haunts me when I go to sleep at night.

Really?  You're just chillin'?  Because you sort of sound like you're in the middle of a chemical skin peel. 

Honestly, I was okay with your ideas to reform our criminal justice system.  Even more honestly, I've almost forgotten about that one time when  you went on a weird laughing rant on CNN.  As much as I've disagreed with you, I've understood how hard it must be to be a woman in politics.


Okay, so no, I didn't get that email.  Maybe my server is down or something.  I saw the memes, though, and Hillary-- it's really not that hard to spell my name, okay?  It's four letters.  It's the shortened version of Madison without getting fancy.  Just chill out with the D's.

If you need a dollar, that's fine.  I'll skip my McDonald's breakfast that I have every Friday and give it to you instead.  Even though I'm still probably leaning towards Bernie, you seem like you really need it, and you need it from me, someone who certainly doesn't make as much as the former Secretary of State.

 

Expect my dollar in 3 to 5 business days, Hillary, and please, for the love of God, if you're going to email me desperately again, let's spell my name right next time.