The Greeley-Evans crime log is again another reminder that we do not give nearly enough credit to those in law enforcement and other emergency personnel. This is good stuff.

As the Greeley Tribune reported, the latest log of from dispatchers will probably have you laughing out loud!

Friday, March 13

9:15 a.m.: Greeley police responded to a local apartment complex for a report of a teenage girl who consumed a three-month supply of birth control in one sitting.

11 a.m.: Greeley police responded to the 1300 block of 11th Avenue after a man reported to dispatch that another man was using magic against him to make his heart hurt.

12:30 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the 500 block of 21st Street for a harassment report. A man’s parents posted an eviction notice on his bedroom door after they found out he was arrested the night before in Adams County for driving under the influence of alcohol.

7 p.m.: Greeley police responded to Amour Hill Drive after dispatchers traced a prank call to the area. A kid on the line told dispatchers, “I am going to make an emergency by killing you.” When asked for his name, the caller replied, “I am sexy and hot, sexy and hot, and you have to marry me. Bye.”

Saturday, March 14

1 p.m.: Greeley’s streets department responded to the 5400 block of 9th Street for a report of a large amount of dead rabbits left on the road. City employees responded, but could not locate the rabbits.

Monday, March 16

5:15 p.m.: Greeley police responded to the intersection of 10th Avenue and 8th Street for a report of an intoxicated man pushing a stroller full of alcohol down the street.

Saturday, March 21

2:30 a.m.: Greeley police responded to 25th Avenue and 15th Street for a report of a man yelling and getting into “fighting stances.” No one else was around.

Tuesday, March 24

2:15 a.m.: Evans police responded to an alley off of Idaho Street for a report of a man collecting scrap metal out of a Dumpster. Officers responded and watched the man rummage through the Dumpster for about five minutes. When confronted by police, the man denied pulling anything out of the garbage. He was warned not to collect scrap in Evans.

7:30 a.m.: Evans police responded to Valley View Avenue for a report of a green camper that habitually speeds through the neighborhood, sometimes putting kids in danger. The caller demanded a squad car to respond or else he would handle the driver “in another way.” Weld County Sheriff’s Office deputies responded to the complaint.

5:45 p.m.: Evans police responded to 11th Avenue for a report of a man who spit on a woman’s car after the two had been involved in a traffic crash. The woman told police she had video footage of the altercation.

Wednesday, March 25

3 p.m.: Evans police received a call about some young hooligans on Denver Street who don’t go to school and are a bad influence on other neighborhood children.

Thursday, March 26

2:45 a.m.: Evans police responded to 42nd Street after a woman called dispatch saying she was tortured the night before and was being followed by people who meant to do her harm. At least three people were following the woman, including a woman in a dress who could have possibly been a hologram.

7 a.m.: Evans police responded to Empire Street after a woman reported to dispatch that her husband had called and was screaming in agony about an unknown problem. Officers responded to the home and spoke with the husband. He was having a painful bowel movement.

5:45 p.m.: Evans police responded to McNitt Street and Birney Court for a report of a white refrigerator truck with out of state plates cruising the neighborhood and several men trying to sell steaks to local residents. The caller said one of the men had tattoos on his face, which led the caller to question whether they had the proper permits to solicit business in the neighborhood.

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