Are Your Words Doing More Harm Than Good?

In the book The Four Agreements by don Miguel Ruiz, one of the agreements is 'Be Impeccable with Your Word.' We have heard the saying, 'the pen is mightier than the sword.' Your word is powerful. It has the ability to build, and it also has the ability to tear down. What you say can have a monumental effect on someone without you even knowing it. Use that power with care.

I have been in medical situations where, at least in my mind, all I had was hope. Hope is a potent device. I have no doubt that secretly clinging to it helped me through some pretty tough times. I can also clearly remember times that idle words by an unaware nurse could take that all away. She meant no harm by her words. She just blew into the room, spoke her mind, checked the IV unit, and was on her way. My fragile hope was crushed with her poorly thought out comments. That's how damaging reckless words can be.

Yesterday afternoon my five year-old grandson and I were putting Christmas lights up on the house. He dropped two bulbs and they broke on the sidewalk. In his mind, he was sure he would be disciplined. He showed me the shattered pieces, and I let him know that it was no big deal. He was relieved, and actually said, "I thought I would be in trouble." You could see his delight. I didn't think about my words, it really was no big deal; but it's a small example of how words can have an unintended positive effect too.

Even better, compliments are like words of gold.

The point is that, good or bad, our words are far more powerful than we think. I'm not suggesting we go around worrying about the effect of everything we're going to say. It's just incredibly important to be aware. We probably make and/or ruin days far more often than we could ever imagine.

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