While already pushing her new line of Christmas sweaters, Whoopi Goldberg told the Huffington Post that saying Happy Holidays is better than saying Merry Christmas.  ''Happy holidays’ allows everybody to be included.  When you’re walking past somebody, you don’t know what their religious beliefs are or whether they have them. If they have religious beliefs and you can’t tell what they are, say ’Happy holidays. This idea that we can only say one thing is ridiculous. It’s ridiculous. And clearly, this is some political ploy to make people feel better in some way. But the truth of the matter is this is America where we celebrate all of our holidays whenever they are and we don’t necessarily say ‘happy this’ or ‘happy that,’ we say ‘happy holidays.’ That’s what you say.”

I like that point, as well as the fact that, unless it's December 25th, saying Merry Christmas doesn't really make sense, does it?  Otherwise, why don't I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving today, even though it's not for like another three weeks?  How the hell did this debate even start in the first place???  Oh yeah, Facebook - right?  Just guessing.

I do hope you realize how amazing your life and mine are in this society, when we get into serious arguments in regards to how we wish each other well during the last two months of the year.  Are we really getting angry because someone wishes us to have a great time the wrong way??  This has to be as "good" as life could possibly get, if that's the case.

Just an idea:  How about being thankful anytime anyone wishes us anything warm or kind?  That's right.  Be appreciative they're not opting to say:

  • "May your five-year-old neighbor have their violin lesson during all your hangovers."
  • "May you feel your cell phone vibrating in a pocket it isn't even in."
  • "May your chair produce the sound of a fart, but only once, denying you the opportunity to prove to everyone that it was just the chair."
  • "May you charge your laptop overnight without realizing the cord isn't plugged in."
  • "May you always step into a wet spot right after putting on fresh socks."
  • "May the pin of your bathroom stall door never reach the lock."
  • "May every "empty" parking space you spot actually contain a motorcycle."
  • "May your article load that extra little bit as you're about to click a link so you click the ad instead."

Now... If you would be so kind, tell us: